Most people are not being true to their own self when they are with or around others. There are many who can’t be their own true self when around family, friends, colleagues or officials. Some believe or know that if they drop their persona they may be insulted, attacked or rejected. To create our self to our own criteria is to betray what God created. We reject our self when we reject our true feelings. This is a rejection of what God created. This is done by allowing the criteria and prejudices of others to judge ‘us’ to be unworthy. We deny our true self when we conform.
If we use the criteria of others to define us we may decide that we are not good enough or interesting enough or worthy enough. When we have judged what ‘we are’ according to criteria we may begin to feel bad and decide it is because we do not conform. In the Western world we are constantly competing. To be accepted we look to create the perception in the ‘minds of others’ of the self we project. The method used to install and sustain the desired perception in the minds of others is the appearance, words and behaviours that we deliberately exhibit.
We talk and behave in a certain way in order to create, project and reinforce a particular perception in the minds of others. The swagger, smile and kind words do not truly reveal the book but merely its cover. The divorce statistics show that the mask cannot always be sustained and eventually the truth of us may reveal a conflict between our words and behaviour that is unacceptable to our spouse. The insult we project that defines the words, appearance or behaviour of others merely reflects our own judgement. Our judgement reflects our intolerance.
When we get angry the only truth that is revealed is the limit of our tolerance. When we get angry it is our intolerance sustained by our own judgement that has made us feel angry. Anger is not caused by what we have judged to be responsible for our anger. We are always responsible. If we project an insult our victim is responsible for how they react. The recipient of an insult must first detect the insult before their mind can decide how to respond. Our mind must first recognise, define and categorise an insult before it decides which chemical response it will create in emotional terms.
The chemical response is how we feel. The mind must perceive an insult before it knows how to chemically respond in emotional terms. My words cannot upset the peace of mind of another unless they are defined to be ‘upsetting’. The mind first decides if the words we hear are a ‘compliment’ or an ‘insult’ before it can respond appropriately. Our feelings always respond to our own judgement. Not wishing to take responsibility for this insanity we project the cause of what we perceive as an ‘offense’ or an ‘insult’. This is the insane complex we use to upset our self.
Other relevant articles –